Meaning and Myth

After a weekend filled with ebb and flow, I am left with more questions to contemplate.

Where does healing come from?
What does healing mean to me?
Who is a healer?

Just as I was starting to get comfortable with the idea that I am a healer, after much suggestion and support from my community and the Yoniverse, a friend of mine, who I respect tremendously for her integrity and healing presence, said that she really has trouble with the word or identity of healer. At first, upon hearing her say this, I felt a piecing sensation. Was she talking to me? I have always been so mindful of not taking responsibility for the healing that I share in and witness. I have always felt myself as a witness, guide, and medium. We heal ourselves, the Earth heals us. Time heals. Love heals. We heal together. I have had such a dynamic, and often troublesome relationship with the idea of being a healer. I can't escape it and yet I can't own it. And just as I am starting to really let it in, I feel deterred or shaken...

I have fought with the idea of being a healer since I was in my early teens. What is healing? Where does it come from? Who does it? Until recently, I had nowhere to take my questions and there was little in my environment that affirmed my interests. The Mystery had chosen for me a Path that required deep personal healing or Death. I chose to heal.

I am discovering myself daily through this continuing process, and am thankful that I am finally releasing my resistance and going in...

Being a clairsentient empath, it has often felt overwhelming and discouraging. Did I choose this? For many years I thought that I was crazy because I couldn't make sense of the things that I felt, sensed, saw, or intuited. Why was I so sensitive? Where was my place in the world? While I am still discovering the answers to those questions, I no longer wish to questions there validity. So while I completely concur with my friends assertion that healers aren't responsible for the healing of others, that is the domain of the Mystery, the Mother, I do feel that there still needs to be a place for those of us who dedicate ourselves to honoring that process of transformation which brings harmony and wholeness to people, places, and relationships to take refuge and create community. Semantics, yes, but I need to believe that there is room in the world for what the world needs most: healers.